Competitive Parenting

Normally I am glad to see positive images of breastfeeding moms in the mainstream media.
It drives me nuts when I hear about a mom and child who are forced to cover up, hide in a closet, or even justify their public nursing session. I don't care if nipples are covered or how old the child is, I am sure that a screaming hungry little one would be more of a distraction to bystanders.
It's not the TIME photo that bothers me at all, its the headline. "Are you Mom enough?". Since when is parenting a competition?
I would hope that all parents are doing their best and making decisions that will benefit their child rather than striving to be more anything than the neighbor next door.
I guess the dialogue is good. Its nice to see attachment parenting discussed and rationalized. This cover certainly brought the concept to the forefront. I just balk at the need to engage in a game of "parenting chicken", competing to see who can push controversy the farthest.
I nursed my first baby for about 9 months, then he was done. Number two went 23 months and number three was 28 months old. All three of them stopped when THEY were ready, as was my intention.
 I don't usually share those numbers with new moms. Since I know that breastfeeding is important, I encourage the moms I know to give it a try. If they can nurse for 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years they will have given their children the best possible nutrition. Even the moms who try and fail, and I have know some of those as well, are doing what is best for their child. Being secure in the knowledge that you have done everything in your power to provide for your child IS what is best.
By creating a competitive mood around parenting we are sending the message that as individual parents none of us is "good enough". Its not like a business. Parents don't improve their love-giving or life-shaping abilities through competition but rather through cooperation. I have learned a lot from the moms I know, I value their expertise, and I recognize that although we may not do everything the same way, they have much to teach me and I have much to share.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, you ARE "mom enough" what ever your parenting style!

Check out this response:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/no-i-am-not-mom-enough_b_1507550.html

Let it go...

A friend shared this article today, and I wanted to share the link with you all as well. Every now and then something pops up that reminds me to refocus and re-prioritize and I always appreciate the kick in the pants! Being on spring break with my family has helped me to let go of a lot of the stress that I have been feeling, but this post from "Purpose Fairy" encourages us to go further and give up more to enjoy more. Check it out!

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Earth Then and Now

http://www.fireflybooks.com/bookdetail&ean=9781554077717

When Al Gore first released An Inconvenient Truth the images were more shocking than the accompanying statistics. Seeing the change that humans have caused can elicit a visceral response that numbers and narrative  can never reach. That contrast in images is what makes this book powerful. Rather than discuss the causes and debate the pros and cons of the constant changes, this book only documents and allow the reader to draw his or her own conclusions.
Some of the changes are obviously caused by human intervention, some by natural phenomena. Some have taken place over a short period of time, others over many years. Regardless, these images leave the reader with a sense of awe at the magnitude of the power of change. I am reminded that even seemingly insignificant events can have a great and lasting impact on our world. Change is inevitable. We must live consciously to ensure that the effect is positive.

woodswoman

When Anne LaBastille passed away in July, the Adirondack region lost one of its best protectors. In this, her first book, she describes how she came to live on a lake in the Adirondacks, un-accessible by car, in a cabin that she constructed herself. Her fascination with the natural world and the history of the upstate New York region is evident as she recounts her experiences over the course of several years. Mixing practical skills with science, history and biography LaBastille provides an inspirational first-hand account of self-sufficiency and the community that makes it possible. Her legacy as an environmentalist, activist and "woodswoman" will live on as long as the Adirondack park remains "forever wild".

The Cleaner Plate Club

http://cleanerplateclub.com/

I guess I spent the summer mostly reading cookbooks. Somehow over the last ten years I have gone from an aversion to the kitchen, to someone who loves to cook. (It may have something to do with the kitchen being one of the only rooms in the house where I am ever alone...)
Now that I have a handle on growing and cooking my own food, I have been learning about healthy eating. I am a vegetarian, but everyone else in my house eats meat, so I am guilty of adding chicken nuggets to the meal plan a bit too often. Making kid-friendly meals that are healthy too is not an easy task, but this cookbook makes it seem like fun.
Rather than sneaking healthy bits into treats, like some authors suggest (beet brownies?), these authors/moms recommend tried and true recipes that create meals from scratch which the whole family can enjoy. By including children in the planning, purchasing and cooking of family meals we allow them ownership and choices long before the casserole hits the plate. Just as growing lettuce from seeds is more appealing than iceburg from the grocery store, allowing that involvement before the meal cuts way down on the dinner time "number of bites" negotiations. The authors suggest, actually, that negotiation not become a part of the dinner routine. Ask your child to try what has been prepared, but be confident that all the dishes offered are healthy and no child eats only white things forever!
When I read a cookbook, I go for the pictures. More than once, I have rejected a book with too few! This is not a "pin-up" style cookbook and I am not sure what made me keep reading. I think it is the premise that even at meals we are teaching our children and even at the table they are looking for affirmation and respect. You have to love a book that sees little ones as people too!
Even though I didn't drool over photo-shopped images, I was impressed with the recipes. I even copies some to include in my kitchen binder, not something that happens with every cookbook I see. I would suggest that this book should be a kitchen counter fixture in any home with young children or picky eaters.

Fat Land

I love the title of this book! If the cover doesn't grab you, the content should.
Beginning with agricultural policy and continuing through corporate greed and the American quest for instant gratification this book explores the historical, political and societal causes of the obesity epidemic in the United States. Not that these should be excuses for our collective behavior, but seeing the research and understanding the (financial) reasons behind our current way of life might just be enough to galvanize some social change.
Rather than supporting small farms with multiple income crops, we have subsidized massive farm corporations that support the growth of cheap corn to produce cheap corn products (high fructose corn syrup) rather than food with real nutritional value.
Our schools are underfunded and physical education and health/nutrition programs are bare-bones in the areas that need them most. School lunch programs and product placement (Pepsi machines) undermine the message provided by educators.
Fast food corporations and junk food manufactures encourage the purchase of foods that our bodies crave, developing a cycle of non-nutritive consumption. Corn subsidies allow for these products to be inexpensive and preservatives allow for long shelf live and universal availability. Even in the most extreme food deserts, chips and candy are readily available.
Rather than provide preventative care and health counseling our for profit health care system encourages ignorance and emergency care followed by expensive hospital stays, surgery and prescription medications. By allowing health care and the prescription drug industry to support each other in their quest for profits we have taken our collective wellness to the brink of disaster.
How can we overcome this monster of obesity with all these systemic supports working against us? The author provides us with examples of grass-roots efforts that are making healthful change one community at at time. Community gardens, school nutrition programs, and family farms are beginning to push back. Overcoming the addiction to unending empty calories isn't simple, but small changes can lead to larger systemic change. Maybe we can begin to reverse the trend, one apple at a time!




http://www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com/booksellers/press_release/fatland/

One Green Thing

http://greenerpenny.com/

Finding the balance between earth conscious and dollar conscious can be very tricky. It is easy to be sucked in to "green" living and to forget about your own "green" in the process! Purchasing fewer items of higher quality can help, but close attention needs to be paid to your budget.
By making changes slowly and researching your decision, control can be maintained over the process. The trouble is, most people don't have the time or inclination to do research before every purchase! That is the genius of this book. Mindy Pennybacker (Yeah, I know, she was born for this role!) does that research for us. Lists of not-go-good and better choices pepper each chapter making your decisions easier. Her goals are saving money and saving the earth; goals we can all embrace!

The Kind Diet

http://www.thekindlife.com/

I'm not a big reader of diet books, but I love to cook and I have been a vegetarian for many years. I avoided reading this for a while; I was afraid it might be annoying and shallow, but I was pleasantly surprised when I finally picked it up.
Now, this isn't ground-breaking information. A meat and dairy free diet that avoids caffeine and white sugar is better for you and will help you loose weight. Its also better for the planet. The thing I really liked, however, was that the rationale for this was explained clearly, but not in a preachy way, and there is no pressure to 100% commit. Instead of insisting that a complete lifestyle change is the only possibility, Alicia provides levels of change ranging from a few veg meals per week to a complete raw, macrobiotic diet. She truly seems accepting of any level of commitment and is confident that once you try it, you won't want to go back. This attitude is so much more constructive that militant veganism that I want to recommend to meat-eaters as an introduction to the lifestyle. As they say, "you catch more flies with honey (or agave nectar)"!

Sharing Nature with Children

http://www.sharingnature.com/index.php

Thirty years ago, Joseph Cornell's first book was published to popular acclaim. With practical and fun suggestions for really enjoying and exploring nature alongside children, this book also assumes that its readers are willing and able to discuss the natural and scientific evidence experienced in each activity. As a nature educator, Cornell is a pioneer, using organic experiences to illustrate higher level concepts. His work is the influence for many of the modern "nature learning" authors and a must read for parents, educators and anyone who plays with children.

taking back childhood

http://www.nancycarlssonpaige.org/book-takingbackchildhood1.html


The more I read, the more shocking it is to me how our culture ignores solid research based evidence and instead embraces media and corporate influence.
I realize that the cards are stacked against us. The corporate machine has developed an all-pervasive influence and the unsuspecting parent can feel powerless against it. The research, however, is very clear. Our children need limited (or no) screen time and increase unstructured play time. All of them. Even the big kids and the "good" kids.
Creative play builds creative minds, but the outside influences can stifle it. The only remedy is to consistently enforce an environment where unstructured play occupies the largest proportion of time (except maybe sleep). This can be a huge energy shift, but I think, it maybe harder for parents than children. It will require that parents interact with their kids much more than in a media babysitting model. Quickly, however, the kiddos will learn to play with out you and you will have to play alone.
Keep in mind, as well, that most school programs do not support play. Creative thinking plays a limited role in an environment filled with requirements and testing. Unstructured after school play time is vitally important and provides a much better "reset" after classes are over than the traditional hour of TV before dinner. As we prepare for back-to-school, keep this in mind and I challenge you to go TV free during the school week. I promise you'll notice a positive difference!

Did you ever wonder? What the World Eats

http://www.randomhouse.com/book/198143/what-the-world-eats-by-faith-daluisio

Reading statistics about nutrition, poverty and world hunger just can't paint the same picture as photography. Profiling families from around the world, the authors photograph the family in their home, surrounded by a weeks worth of food.
Costs vary from $500 to $1.50 and nutritional value varies as well. Seeing the packages and produce all displayed makes the disparity very obvious. It is amazing how many brands have a global presence.
I am sure that some families adjusted the food displayed, some making it more wholesome than usual, others adding "special" foods for their guests. Even so, the differences are striking.
I would love to see this photographic research replicated with diverse American families. I would hypothesize that families in Arizona, New York, Alaska and Nebraska would demonstrate some telling data about the nutritional crisis in the United States as well.

Eaarth

http://www.billmckibben.com/eaarth/eaarthbook.html

This is a scary book. It is scary that authors like Bill McKibben have been writing about our environment and suggesting changes in behavior for decades and no significant changes have been made. Even scarier is the premise given here, that environmental change is irreversible, we have passed the point of no return.
Earth is gone, and has been replaced by the less-hospitable Eaarth. Sounds like science-fiction doesn't it? Unfortunately, this assertion is supported by numerous studies and statistics.
Have you seen the record breaking wildfires in the west this summer?
Check this out:

How about the record-high temperatures and dry weather?

Here it is:

These are not warnings of potential climate change. They are not possibilities for a future of unknown distance. These are not problems that your grandchildren will face. These changes have already taken place. If we continue on our current path, new and more drastic challenges will loom. 

Are you scared yet?

Big Box Re-Use

http://www.bigboxreuse.com/book/

I think the problems with so called "big box stores" are becoming more and more evident all the time. The recent court decision condoning sexist practices by one of our largest national employers has brought my attention back to the problem. I refuse to shop at that particular store, but avoiding all the big box chains completely is nearly impossible.
Another developing problem is the aging and expansion of these stores. After driving all the smaller vendors from a community and operating out of the initial big-box location for a few years business starts to stagnate. So, what is the logical next step? A "super store". As chains are moving to larger and more sprawling locations they are leaving behind the empty shell of that first "big box".
Julia Christensen noticed that a few communities are reclaiming those boxes in creative and interesting ways. From a town hall, to a skate park, to a school, she profiles the way that the forest of innovation and entrepreneurship is slowly reclaiming the strip-mined main streets of communities all over our country.
With a wiki on her website, Christensen invites us all to recognize our own communities as we re-use and re-claim our own areas from the shadow of the big box.

Herstory

At the risk of being redundant, I wanted to share one more women's history reference for young people. Every time I look through a book like this I am shocked by the number of important women who were not included in my high school curriculum. I realize that there have been more important historical figures of all races and genders than could possibly be discussed in four years of high school, but the fact that they skew male and white in more and more evident to me all the time.
This book profiles famous and not-so-famous women through out world history and pairs each with a portrait and a sample of her work. What a great way to introduce young women (and men) to the possibilities of their potential!
Take a look at your book shelves. How many books do you have about famous dead white guys? Don't you think you could make room for at least one about the ladies? Once you start to notice, its hard to return to complacency. Teach yourself a more complete world history; then teach others.

Coop

http://sneezingcow.com/

I have a small obsession with anyone who finds a way to make a living doing what they love. It seems like most of us have hobbies and a job and n'ere the twain do meet.
I am lucky, I love teaching and I love being a mom. I just wish I had twice as much time to do both. Since I haven't figured that out yet, instead I read about people who seem to have so much time that they are even able to reflect and write about their lives. What luxury!
Michael Perry is an absolute master of this magical use of time. He is a prolific writer, musician and performer with a fabulous website and a good relationship with his family and neighbors. In this book he chronicles his beginnings with livestock and his experiences as a father, especially the challenge of balancing both. He is unafraid of his mistakes and his acknowledgement of his shortcomings is what makes this book interesting and inspiring, rather than self-indulgent.
Perry works hard at doing what he loves and is successful. Who wouldn't enjoy reading about a life like that?

Packaging Childhood

http://www.packaginggirlhood.com/book.html

http://packagingboyhood.com/

As parents, it is our job to protect our children. Many people are uneasy about the media that our children are exposed to and the message that music, tv, magazine, books and toys send. Who designs these products? What in the purpose of the stereotypes that they perpetuate? In this pair of books, the authors strive to answer those questions and are disturbed by the answers.
Products of all kinds are designed for and marketed to our children with the expressed purpose of shaping and developing life-long consumers. By categorizing kids and then convincing them that products are needed to continue to remain in that category children are taught from a young age that their value lies in their purchasing power. Every consumer product that we buy for our kids was designed with product loyalty in mind. Even things like snacks and art supplies are designed to target a "type" of child. The nefarious ulterior motives are so overwhelming that it is tempting to swear off all purchasing and weave your own cloth.
Fortunately, the authors realize that this is not realistic and they provide resources to counter corporate influence. In addition to describing the worst offenders they provide talking points to guide conversations. If your son loves GI Joe, it isn't realistic to forbid it. Instead, a thoughtful discussion about the macho stereotypes (or several) along with creative multi-dementional play can show your children how to break out of the marketed box. Sure, Joe fights the bad guys, but he also needs to go grocery shopping and likes to paint!
My favorite resource in these books are the lists of "safe" media. Children love books, music and movies and so do I, so swearing off all of them is unrealistic. If you can balance Cinderella with The Paper Bag Princess your children can make informed decisions about the fairy tale life. Media are listed by topic and age group, making these books a life-long resource and go-to library list.
So, now for your input, leave a comment telling me your favorite stereo-type shattering media resources (book, music, movie, etc.). Tell me the title, why you like it and what age group it is appropriate for. Check our the suggestions and Happy Reading!

Lost and Found

As a speaker and author most of Geneen Roth's career has focused on spirituality and women's relationships with with food. She discovered that in her own life overeating and dieting were manifestations of her spiritual instability and her discomfort in her own skin. 

Interestingly, just as her career as a speaker was really taking off, Geneen was hit with a huge financial blow. All of her life savings were lost as the Bernie Madoff scandal came to light and she found herself with massive debt and only $5000 in the bank. 

Now, at this point I must admit I wasn't really feeling any sympathy or connection with the author. When I have $5000 in the bank I feel pretty flush, so you have to understand its all a matter of perspective. This great loss lead to a great gain in self-awareness, which is the primary focus of this book. Roth realized that she had been maintaining a dis-functional relationship with money that paralleled her feelings about food. Guilt and secrecy surrounded both topics and her planned obsolescence had led her to crisis. 

She began to ask her students and friends about their money and found that for many of them money was a black hole of uncertainty and a topic to be avoided at all costs. A healthy in and out relationship of needs and wants with no assigned emotional value was virtually unheard of in her discussions. 

Geneen realized that finances and food, for many women, are parallel categories of disfunction. The taboo and competition that surround both topics leads us to hide the problems from each other, allowing the cycle to continue. Open and honest discussion can break down those barriers and we can learn to support each other as we heal spiritually, physically and financially. 

As Geneen Roth says; 

"But it's not too late. It's possible to understand money as an expression of our life's energy and to use it to support life rather than to destroy it. 

It's possible to redefine what making a profit actually means and recognize that as long as one person wins and another person loses, no one wins. 

It's possible to understand what happens to our money and to use it to reflect what we value most instead of turning it over to questionable characters and complicated investments. 

It's possible to find what was never lost to begin with - our ability to feel, give, receive, know, question, learn, change- and to allow that to be the wellspring of our worth. When we spend as much time investing in our inner lives as we do in getting and having more, how we live on this earth and inside our bodies will change. "

http://www.geneenroth.com/lost-and-found-book1.php

Chick Days!

Jenna Woginrich, author of Made from Scratch, is my hero! 

A young single woman, running her own farm-stead and writing about the experiences she is a perfect example of a fulfilled life. 

Her second book, illustrated with photographs by Mars Vilaubi, beautifully describes the development and growth of three working pet hens from chick to chicken. Showing the physical development and the development of individual personalities gives the reader week by week insight into the raising of chickens as well as a feeling of connection to the authors as they build a relationship with their animals. 

I appreciate the beauty of this book, Woginrich admires the day to day country routines with an artist's eye and the practical nature of a farmer, a fabulous combination! Her connection to her animals and broad perspective of the natural cycles of farm life make a practical, beautiful and personal manual for the backyard farmer. 

This book is also a great way to introduce children to the process of raising chickens, as the photographs will capture the attention of even the very young. My little ones admire them again and again!

http://www.storey.com/index.php

Ahhh... Summer!

This little guy has been our neighbor for quite a while - isnt he cute?

Well, school is out for summer and I am back online! I have been reading and thinking up new blog posts this past month, so get ready, 'cause here I come. Did ya miss me?

I havent forgot! The laptop is broken... be back soon!