Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

I started this book, fully intending to hate it. The publisher did a great PR job, taking the most inflammatory parts of the story and printing them out of context to create controversy. I saw the review and had to see what the fuss was all about, so, I started reading. This is not a parenting book, or even, really, an exploration of cultural differences so much as it is a biography and illustration of the author's love for her daughters.
Now, don't get me wrong, the woman is nuts. She goes overboard in so many areas and clearly misses signs from her family that she  is going much too far. At one point I wondered why her husband was still with her, then I realized that she was leaving out his contributions to the family. As she focused on her extreme practice requirements, she glossed over the fun family outings that her husband arranged. Clearly, its all about her.
As I read on, I started to see myself in Amy Chua. Extremely practical, type A personality that has no time for nonsense, indecision or second guessing: sounds a lot like me! I don't push my children the way she does, but I could, no doubt about it! I talk often with a friend of mine about the low expectations that we have of children and how a false sense of success with little or no effort does a huge disservice to them in the long run. It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all!
The thing I like best about the author though, is that even though she is critical of her children, she is even more critical of herself. She doesn't try to make the nasty, nagging, arguing and fighting seem justified or the high pressure easy to maintain. She says that she thought about giving in and allowing her daughters more freedom, but that it just felt like the wrong thing to do. She really seems to have raised her daughters in the way she felt was best for them, in the long run, not just the here and now.
In the end, of course, the author is humbled. She ultimately relaxes her control when faced with the potential loss of her second daughter. This is not a revelation for her or a change of heart. It felt like giving in and remains a struggle, but as any good parent knows, the easy decisions are not always the right ones.
So I say, give this book a try. Even as you disagree, you may see more of yourself than you expected and experience the proof that the love of a parent shows its self in mysterious ways.